My apologies for not having posted in a while. Life has been very busy and I have been feeling utterly uninspired.
At the end of the day, when I look back on all of the things that have happened, some of the most prominent situations that stick out in my mind seem to be the times when I am sincere. I am not talking about the moments when I am sincerely tired or sincerely happy about something. I am talking about the moments when I am honestly and frankly myself around people, showing the way that I really feel in a genuine way without exaggerating.
At least for me, being earnest is always much harder than it originally appears. It seems that I have made different masking personalities to wear around different people, and I am sure most people do the same. While the masks do often serve a good purpose, they often serve as an excuse for stability so that I don't have to expose how I really feel about this, that or the other. I have lately found that things go much better when I am more transparent, when I filter my personality instead of faking it completely.
Of late I have really recognized how important being sincere is. I noticed that when I wait tables, things go so much better when I say the (positive) things that are on my mind, when I drop my guard and actually converse with people. I discovered that people love it so much more when you are more than "Would you like to add a side salad?" or even "So how about that weather?" Surprisingly to me, a lot of people just want to see some life come out of my brain. I guess to many people this may be common sense, but to me this is cool and surprising.
(Seems like I'm always bringing up waiting tables. Is it that waiting tables is full of life lessons, or do I just need a life?)
And lately I have been applying this to friendships and I am stunned by how much easier it is to make friends and strengthen existing friendships when you really mean what you say and say what you mean. When I want to say hi to someone, I go up and say hi like I mean it, something which I never would have done in the past. For me, it's a matter of convincing my shy self that if something goes wrong the world won't end. Being sincere is a lot of fun! When I want to know some little thing about someone, I ask. People love knowing that you want to know more about them. To be honest, I hate formalities. They are so devoid of meaning. So, in place, I have made up my own or made funny little twists on a lot of them. Why? To snap it out of being simply a formality and make it meaningful. I can't begin to describe how much infinitely easier my social life has been since I have made the effort to loosen up and let sincerity show though.
So, there are the disjointed naive young thoughts on sincerity from someone who it doesn't come naturally to. In all sincerity, it's quite fun.